Learn To Love YOU

 

Hey dudes,
I hope you're all cool, and Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there ^_^.

This post was inspired by last night's events....

After the Unfamous shoot last night (@ Cafe Mode -shout out to @DearRobTV for letting us use the beautiful venue) we all went out to a house party in Hackney. Myself and the Unfamous director, @SelinaOsei, got into an interesting conversation with one of the female guests (it was 5am and we were starting to sober up lol). We started talking about weight loss...as you do at a house party.
The girl, who had a totally friggin bodacious figure by the way, was saying she wanted to lose more weight and so she joined the gym and was eating less. She then went on to say how even though she had lost weight, that she was losing it in places she didn't want to (which I can empathise with as since I've been on my new get fit regime -62 days in...yes I count the days -there is now space in my bra *cries*), i.e. her ass and hips.

So I'm looking at this girl, and as a big b*tch, I'm now experiencing skinny b*tch confusion, 'cause I'm thinking 'The f*ck is she complaining about? She looks sexy blud!' In less flamboyant terms I told her that she looked good, but she was adamant that it wasn't good enough and said something along the lines of 'In clothes it's fine, but when you're naked it's a different story.' So I study her figure again and at this point I'm like, 'B*tch, from where I'm sitting, you look as if you'll be fine naked too'.

I ended up telling the girl the same thing I'm about to tell you lot; no matter how much you lose, even if you hit your target or you go beyond it, unless you love yourself it won't matter because you will always find something else wrong that will make you unhappy about your appearance.

Ladies, I cannot stress how important I think self love is. I meet a lot of females of all shapes and sizes who I think are stunning, but due to lack of self love they have a ton of insecurities. Ya'll need to learn to let that shit GO! It is one of those things that are easier said than done, but the fact of the matter is, it can be done. 

The first step is acceptance; stop being so hard on yourself for the way you look. It's your body and unless you are rich enough to purchase a new one, you will be stuck with it until the day you die, so there's no point in spending the rest of your life resenting it; that's not cool. This is you, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

If you are unhappy with the way you look, do something about it, but accept that some things that you deem as physical flaws are out of your control and work on what you can. Focus on what you do like about yourself, as opposed to what you don't. There's nothing wrong with achieving the figure you desire, but don't get bogged down with the way you look just because you aren't there yet; if you're determined,you'll get there. 

As of late, the body trends seem to be bigger asses, tiny waists, perkier tits, thigh gaps, collar and hip bones that poke out. This is what the media is celebrating, so it what males are lusting after, which means a lot of you lot want it. The reality of it is, everyone has different body types. It may not be in your DNA to have those things, but so what? There are many different types of beauty and what you all need to do is find your type and own it *snaps fingers like a sassy gay man* GURRRRRL, YOU BETTER WERK!

People want to look and feel beautiful, so that they can feel wanted, but if you don't even want yourself, why would anyone else?

You may hear this saying and think it's cliché  but it holds a lot of truth in it; there is nothing sexier than confidence. When you learn to love yourself, your confidence will start to shine naturally. When you feel confident it radiates through your aura and others can sense it. Confidence instantly makes you more attractive because it is a positive emotion. For instance, have you ever found yourself attracted to someone who is not your usual cup of tea, and your friends are chatting sh*t like 'Why do you like him?' (like you asked for their opinion. -_- B*tch, I'm glad you don't like him, that means I don't have to watch you!). You can't really explain it properly, but you smile, shrug and say 'I dunno. There's just something about him.' #MOIST!
Sometimes you will see couples where one is hot and the other...meh, not so much, and you wonder how they even got together; the less tasty one probably had a sh*tload of confidence!

A good way to kick start self love is to adorn yourself the way you would if you looked the way you wanted to. Treat yourself as if you are already your idea of 'beautiful' -within reason though. Keep it tasteful ;). Go shopping and get an outfit that you know you'll look sick in, learn how to do make-up (YouTube has tutorial coming out the wazoo), get a mani/pedi, get yo hurr did....just pamper yourself ladies; your psyche will respond to it. I promise you it will make a world of difference. Treat yourself like you love yourself and don't be ashamed of it. It is your right to feel good about who and what you are, no matter what other may think about you.

Girls worry about their appearance so much because they want to be desirable to men. Unlike men, we don't typically have the luxury of being desirable for being rich and powerful (as men are 'supposed' to be the breadwinners), hence we work on our physical appearance more. We strive to look like Beyonce/Rihanna/Kim K -because these are women that  men often say they find attractive -forgetting that we aren't celebrities and may never achieve that polished Hollywood look. Men understand this too. No matter what they may say out of masculine bravado for banter on social networks or when amongst their peers, if you actually sit and talk with a man on a level, you generally find that they don't expect perfection because they understand that this is real life!

Stop comparing yourself to others. Just be happy being all that you are.

I have a @SwearDownTV vid that elaborates on this topic called 'Fatty Boom Boom 101' -it's aimed at fat b*tches but the general idea is self love. Give it a watch if you like: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfcmUSlZ_6o

Follow me on Twitter @ScottyUnfamous

Until next time
Sx

P.S. Check out the latest behind the scene pics from @The_Unfamous series at http://weareunfamous.tumblr.com/