Wonder Woman; You Better Get Yo Superman!

Hey guys, hope you're all well :) -I'm just saying that to be nice, I don't really care. 

Now, before I unleash the fury, I just wanna thank you all for showing my blog so much love these past few days. You guys are all right *offers an awkward hug...then changes mind*

Okay, enough of the soppy sh*t, there's things we need to discuss b*tches! Tonight's topic is; WONDER WOMEN and how ya'll need to stop fuckin with these Judas penis boys, and go get you a SUPERMAN! It's 2013 b*tch, you betta get yo life!

Leggo!

A Wonder Woman is a woman who can be a successful wife(y) in all aspects, from taking care of home, her man and herself, and have a professional career at the same time....yes I'm talking about Beyonce :(. A Superman reflects that of a Wonder Woman...but without the boobs (this is not concurrent in all cases *giggles* moobs ^_^) and Dvajango (the D is silent).

Ladies, play Wonder Woman to Superman ONLY, not the Joker (...are you liking how I'm proper forcing my superhero theme here guys lol) because some of these menziz good intentions do not extend past  the bottom of your cookie jar (if you're lucky). 

You can be an amazing woman, but ladies, some men are so caught up in their own egos and bullshit that they won't regard you correctly no matter how hard you try, and sadly they can end up making you feel drained because all they are willing to do is take from you, and give little or nothing in return. That can leave you feeling powerless. Even though these men know you don't deserve to be treated like garlic bread, you just have to accept that:

(namely YOUR world) and move the f*ck on. Understand that people can only get away with what you allow them to. 

There a tons of Wonder Women out there subjecting themselves to bullshit from men they KNOW aint sh*t (but a hoe and a trick) and tryna make shit work because these men possess charm, wit and every heterosexual woman's Kryptonite...ladies you know what I'm on about:

Hooker, STOP! You deserve a man that does right by you, especially if you're the type of female who will do right by her man. Good d*ck is good (-_- sometimes too good), but you know it's not enough. You have to be patient. Ween yourself off the bomb dickitty -

-and find someone who is on your level (I'm gonna assume that you're not basic so I don't have to explain that) and before you give them the world, make sure they deserve it. 

A useful way to do this is by communication; tell your (potential) partner what you expect from them - closed mouth don't get fed -they are not Professor X, they cannot read your mind (I'm actually just making myself sound like a nerd with all these comic book references*shrug* PLISS, ADONCARE!). If once you have stated your expectations they make little to no effort to follow through, it's time to bring out the most powerful weapon a wonder woman has:

Either that, or opt for the 'Mirror effect' if you're still tryna fucks with the bam bam; treat them the way they treat you. Do not by any means (after you've made some sort of initial effort) go out of your way for them again until they fix the f*ck up. It really is better that you just leave, but I'm tryna be realistic here hence why I threw in the other option. Some of ya'll bitches cling to good d*ck like it's a winning lottery ticket!

When it comes to the way people conduct themselves in relationships, everyone tackles it in their own way (I'm just tryna offer up what I hope is helpful advice in case you need to hear it 'cause everything I speak on I've been through to some degree, and I know some of you are younger than me so if me having a lil uncouth rant can assist you in life...I'm starting to sound like I care too much, lemme finish what I was saying). Some people are all in from the word go, whilst others like to test the waters first. 

Me, I'm one of them test the water b*tches! I like to dip my toe in to see if I am happy with the temperature first before I make my next move. I've lived enough life and dealt with enough garden salad man  by now to know better! I don't have a legitimate amount of sanity left to be leaping in all at once to discover once I'm submerged, that the water is too damn cold and now my nipples have pneumonia, giving me hypertension in my chest cavity; so now I must climb back out! Have you tried climbing out of a pool? You can't do that sh*t gracefully! You have to hoist yourself out (and I aint exactly a skinny heffa, so it requires more effort!), then you do that awkward roll away from the edge like a retarded seal to make sure you don't slip and fall back in (the D will catch you if you don't run). That's what getting out of a Superman-less relationship is like -awkward and unnecessary, 'cause yo ass didn't need to be there in the first place!

Below is another awesome SDTV video I done with the hilarious @VexInTheCityUK called 'What Makes A Hubby'. I feel we cover the qualities to look for in a Superman (plus it's JOKE!) so I recommend you give it a watch ;) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRXV9c0G9L0

As usual, lemme know what you think, share it and all that good stuff. Any other topics you'd like me to speak on, or even if you just want some bullsh*t free advice, hit me up on my Formspring formspring.me/ScottyUnfamous. Follow me on Twitter @ScottyUnfamous, and if you wanna check out my stuff from SDTV to the Unfamous books (including the super sexy spin-off '50 Shades of Unfamous') and series, all my links are in the sidebar.

S x

How Can I Tell If He's Serious About Me?

Hey my lovelies, have you missed me ^_^? No? Well screw you then I didn't miss you guys either!

Oh you did? ^_^ Good stuff!

Right, nonsense over, let's get down to business. It appears you guys are taking to my new rage outlet quite well (and so you should cause it's kind of a lil bit awesome if I do say so myself) and I've had my first request via the fabulous @FeliciaDontCare (hey gurrrrrl). Felicia asked me to educate you guys on how to tell if a guy is really into you or not, so here goes nothing...

"Scotty my dearest, how do I tell if he's serious about me? What are the signs? Teach me oh wise and noble one!" -you guys really need to stop with all the flattery you're giving me a big head lol.

How can you tell, you ask?

SPOILER ALERT -YOU CAN'T! 

I could end the post right here, but I feel a valid explanation to my cynical response is needed so that I don't sound like a bitter old wench.

I honestly used to believe that there were certain signs that you could pick up to see if a guy really wanted to take things to the next level with a woman, until one dreadful day in 2011 when I had the pleasure of having @Brimesdot on my radio show (Swear Down Radio *bullet*!) and a very similar topic came up.

So I'm sitting there in my chair with confidence saying shit like 'He'll poop cherry flavoured gumdrops and sparkle like Edward Cullen when he sees you, and your tits will explode with hopes and dreams' -well obviously those weren't my exact words, I was just being a girl and romanticising shit as we are known to do -and then right out of nowhere Brimes decides that he is going to stop my dream selling to the masses, pops my little bubble of joy and says 'You cant tell.'

I asked him to explain, and do you know what he said to me? He said (in more detail) that basically, a man will do what he has to do to get the vajayjay. He and his friends then went on to giving examples of the stunts they had pulled (whilst laughing at the memories of course, 'cause heart break is funny (-_-) HAHA GUYS!) to get a girl to give it up. Now, with some of the examples given (e.g. a guy coming to your rescue at some stupid time in the morning cause you needed him), if a guy done some of them for me I woulda been all 'THIS MUH'F*CKA IS DOWN TO RIDE LIKE BONNIE AND CLYDE *busses a shot* WE FINNA BE THE NEW BEYONCE AND JAY Z *sings* all I need in this life of sin...', but apparently:

Now obviously, this 'anything to get in them drawers' mantra does not  ring true with EVERY MAN. Some are actually doing certain things for you, or behaving a certain way with you because they are genuinely interested in going the whole 9 yards, but it's really down to you to figure that out.  YOU have to take the chance on him.

I say follow your intuition; if it feels right, roll with it until it doesn't. If it feels wrong, save yourself from the possibility of drinking wine with your girls to bitch about how much of a bread back boy (no one really likes bread back, its the crappest part of the loaf. You deserve an inner slice ^_^!) he was, and K.I.M ladies *snaps fingers*, that stands for Keep It Moving! You need to trust your intuition, it's there for a reason. If you feel a f*cked up aura -back the hell up! You know that saying 'my spirit doesn't take to him/her', that's you intuition saying to you 'I would let you trust him, but you see, the way my senses are set up...Bitch, is you really tryna make us end up drunk and crying by the end of this. You betta get yo life and keep walkin'! Go find yo' inner slice!'

On regular relationship blogs, the blogger will tell you to look out for this, that and the other, but guess what, this aint no regular blog b*tch! This is Scotty's blog and Scotty isn't here to sell dreams. She is here to shoot them down and replace them with some real shit!

*Clears throat*
Ladies, I can't tell you what to look out for because honestly, I don't know myself. What I can tell you is that sometimes you just need to stop overthinking things (easier said than done, I know) and just enjoy the moments. If you are with a man and he is treating you well -by your standards ("We accept the love we think we deserve." -Perks of Being A Wallflower) -and he makes you happy, then that's all that matters. 

You can sit there and fuss over if he's really serious about you all you want, but at the end of the day, if you don't take the chance, you'll never know. If it works out then that's amazing, and if it doesn't, it was a lesson learned.

*Side note: I know I sound like  tree hugger, but I'm on this spiritual Zen sh*t these days so that I don't get rage induced high blood pressure and stab someone in the neck :D*

Back to the funk!

A tip: Observation is key. B*tches, sometimes you have to shut the f*ck up and listen to the menziz and watch how they act, then draw your own conclusions from that. You want to know what he's about? pay attention!

Although I can't tell you HOW to tell if he's for real, I can sure as hell give you a few examples of what to look out for just in case he isn't via the last Swear Down TV video I did titled 'You've Just Been Mind F*cked!' Watch it! It will help, you will laugh (then subscribe if you haven't already) and you may even notice that a few of the tricks that I mention, yo ass has already fallen for :) http://youtu.be/z8FCszardLs

As usual, lemme know what you think, share it and all that good stuff. Any other topics you'd like me to speak on, or even if you just want some bullsh*t free advice, hit me up on my Formspring formspring.me/ScottyUnfamous. Follow me on Twitter @ScottyUnfamous, and if you wanna check out my stuff from SDTV to the Unfamous books (including the super sexy spin-off '50 Shades of Unfamous') and series, all my links are in the sidebar.

S x

"I Don't Like Dark Skin Girls!"

With this blog post I'm not gonna sit and moan about men who don't like dark skin girls because we all know how played out that sh*t is (it's a daily occurrence on 'Black Twitter' when they decide to dabble in 'coon time'). Instead I want to attack this issue from another angle. I wanna talk some real sh*t to my ladies that I hope you'll all take on board.

I'm not gonna go deep into the who, what, where, why and how of all of this 'light skin is the right skin' malarky, because we've all heard it enough times, and just like this topic, it is old like gold! It comes down to slavery, the William Lynch letter -which as people of colour you should ALL have read *holds up the mighty  fist of Swear Down* educate to elevate my sistah/brutha (click here to read it if you haven't already) -and the media...basically.

Now that we've got that covered...

What it also comes down to is PREFERENCE. In this day and age our society has become so eclectic and diverse that people of all races are coming together, and I applaud that because it shows how much society is evolving.
You are allowed to be attracted to who you want regardless of other peoples opinions, it is your right! Now, that being said, as much as it is your right to like whoever the hell you want, that doesn't mean that you then need to go the extra mile and start putting those who you are not attracted to down just to highlight how much you prefer your preference. Mate, -_- we get it!

Who are you impressing by doing this please? Your friends? Your family?People you don't even f*cking know on social networks just so you can get a couple followers and RT's to pay your phone bill?
...Wait; followers and RT's don't pay your phone bill....Look at your face! 
If insulting a group of people about their skin tone/race/country impresses the people around you, then you need to re-evaluate your circle and your life buddy!

Now ladies, here's what I have to say to you. When you see these boys running down dark skin girls, why do you get your frenchies in a twist? Lemme ask you this; those boys that like to 'banter' about skin tone, do you even find them attractive? If they moved to you, would you even want them? Do you really care about this coleslaw man's approval of you? No? Didn't think so. So why is it that when you see them chatting shit, you wanna catch feelings and start bickering with these wotless Michelle Williams? It don't make no sense :/ these times your cherry bomb is not for him!

I know some of your are probably thinking 'But my darling Scotty, you majestic creature you ^_^, this is a huge problem in the black community. Our own men are disrespecting us and it's not right!" and I completely agree...I am very majestic! Lol okay but seriously; yes you are right but guess what, NOT ALL BLACK MEN THINK LIKE THAT so why waste your time worrying about the ones that do? From time they don't like you/you don't want them, they are irrelevant, null, void, inapplicable, useless, futile....are you getting where I'm going with this? When it comes to skin tone, "those who mind, don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind", ya dig?
We can sit and rant about it till we go blue in the face, or we can accept that some people thoroughly enjoy being a c*nt, and move the f*ck on. Focusing on unnecessary negative bullshit from the minds of non-entities is just gonna give you hypertension in your neck back! Aint nobody got time fo dat!

Exhibit B: 'Tyson James' played by @compoZer_

I think that the reason some of you allow these niggeristic comments to affect you is out of social awareness, but also (and I hate to say this) insecurities. Let's keep it funky; if you had a man *lets say...Exhibit A or Exhibit B*:

Exhibit A: 'Jade Washington' played by @ImranJonKing

...would you really give a flying f*ck about whether these Gucci Mane lookalikes liked dark skin girls or not? *Look at Exhibits A and B again then give me your answer*.

Hands up who answered 'Yes!' - Don't worry...I'll wait *goes on holiday and comes back to see tumble weed rolling across the screen*

MY POINT EXACTLY!

I think that as much as we preach, the issue lies in black women feeling unwanted by their own men, and of course that's never a nice feeling -*sings Christina Aguillkhgfsdffa* 'Nobody wants to be lonelyyyyyy,' - but like I said before, just because a few hold certain opinions, doesn't mean they all do, and even then, there are White men, Asian men, Mediterranean men, Hispanic men, Biracial men, Arabian men, Native American men... ALL TYPES OF BEAUTIFUL MENZIZ, so why the hell you wanna sit in your room crying and singing along off-key with a glass of wine in your hand to Celine Dion 'All By Myself' like some divorced housewife when there is a bountiful variety laid before you?
Do you see the men doing it? No! You don't like them *pssht* they don't care! They've already started dabbling in bitches with Pokemon names (Karruche and shit), they aint got time to sit there stressin over bitches who aint tryna give them access to their love canal so why you stressin over dudes that aint tryna give you their love boat, especially them pop down, useless love boats you don't even wanna take for a ride?

We've all seen some girls make silly comments about why they don't like black men and you don't really see the men react to it as intensely as black women do. Ladies I think you should just stop giving a sh*t!

Not everyone is going to hold the same principles and thought processes as you and as much as it may anger you, you really do just have to accept it and live your life. 
Dark skin women, you are just as beautiful as everyone else and I need you all to believe that and stop relying on these men to tell you. I really want to get this point across because I don't want any of you to feel like you aren't good enough over something as trivial as the tone of your skin; so much so that I made it a point to write about and cast a dark skin girl as the LEAD in the Unfamous Series:

'Rio Greene' played by @busayoxo and 'Nathaniel Gibson' played by @mcampbell1989

You're gonna find someone and they will love you just the way you are. If you don't believe me, look at Exhibit C:

Exhibit C: Precious and her boyfriend.

Bitches, if that don't give your ass some hope, then I dunno what will! *sings* there can be miraclessssss when you belieeeevvvveeeeee!

Anyway bitches, lemme know what you think, share it and all that good stuff. Any other topics you'd like me to speak on, or even if you just want some bullsh*t free advice, hit me up on my Formspring formspring.me/ScottyUnfamous. Follow me on Twitter @ScottyUnfamous, and if you wanna check out my stuff from SDTV to the Unfamous books (including the super sexy spin-off '50 Shades of Unfamous') and series, all my links are in the sidebar.

Until next time.

S x

How Long Should I Wait To Sleep With Him?

Hey guyssssss ^_^

It's me, your lovely Scottykins finally back to blogging because I have missed ranting in my candid fashion about stuff, and so many things have p*ssed me off since my last video (woosahhh)! These days I can't find the time to sit down for hours editing SDTV vids as the Unfamous series project is still ongoing:

(click here to watch the teaser trailer),

but I thought 'F*CK IT! There's some sh*t I need to say dammit!' and I know you guys seem to love my rage, so until I'm ready to kick off the next season of Swear Down, I shall be appeasing you all here.

NOW!
The first topic I'd like to rant about is how long women are supposed to wait before they get the boom-bam-CONNECT from a new suitor.

Over my almost 25 years (31st of Jan is my birthday just in case you wanted to buy me a stripper or something *shrug*) I've heard a bunch of different rules as to how long a lady is meant to wait in order for a man to take her seriously, most commonly the 90 day rule, wait till the third date, and the 6 months waiting period. In my opinion, these rules are a bunch of poop....and who has time to be waiting for 6 MONTHS! That's half a year wasted on no dick. Aint nobody got time fo dat! 

...that was a joke by the way. If waiting 6 months is ur thing then do you init. It aint my fantalooga so idgaf!

*Pause* 
Before all you uppity b*tches start shaking your heads, allow me to explain why I feel this way. If you still disagree with me afterwards then *shrug* meh!
*Resume*

Let me kick it to you like this; jumping into bed with the new specimen on the first date is not the best way to go (obviously), but guess what bitches, sometimes shit happens *Kanye shrug*! I feel that it's how you conduct yourself from that point onwards that counts. A man is more likely to respect you, if you respect yourself -please note that I said more likely, not DEFINITELY. 

I know people who have gone in for the kill at a very early stage with someone, and I know people that have waited. Both of these scenarios have turned into successful relationships because of the people involved and their chemistry; not because of these froo-froo sugarplum b*tch rules. A man deciding to be with you or not depends on his mindset. If his only intention is to polish your good china, then you can make him wait for a millennium and the dude would still ghost (poof, Casper!), because he wasn't trying to get with you on some real shit in the first place. Other men may appreciate you making them wait because society has taught them that that is how a lady should conduct herself, and obviously they want a 'lady', so if you want them you must adhere to that. Some men are more open-minded and won't turn you away for living in the moment, so long as you and them still have a good vibe afterwards. What I'm trying to say in this paragraph ladies is -know your mark and know your worth. As long as you are aware of the type of person you are dealing with and you carry yourself right then you should be okay.

*Side note: This is just my opinion and results may vary, so if your sh*t f*cks up, you cannot hold me responsible 'cause I never told you to trouble that worthless man #JustSaying*

While we are on the subject of 'knowing your mark', bitches, if you know a man aint shit, DO NOT PURSUE HIM! Sometimes we women have a habit of saddling up to -what my father aptly named -our 'favourite bastard', hoping that if we follow certain rules and make enough of an effort that maybe they'll see the light and change just for us. Hooker, NO! If it walks like a dog, barks like a dog, and humps any 'leg' it can access when it's feeling a bit frisky like a dog, then guess what -it's a dog! You are not Batbitch and he is not Gotham City; it is not your job to try and save these lost souls, that's what Jesus and his dad is for! There are good men out there, you just have to be patient and filter through the junk to find them. If they look like rubbish, put them where they belong -in the bin. If they look like they have value, that's when you pick them up and take 'em home.

The right time to sleep with someone is when it feels completely right to YOU. Notice I said com-plete-ly. Sometimes we let our fantash use it's vaginal trickery to gas us into believing that it's the right time, and we ignore that niggling feeling in the back of our mind sipping it's cup of Earl Grey and looking down it's nose at us through it's half moon specs saying, 'B*tch, don't act like you aint hear me! I know you feel this doubt. You keep opening them legs you gon' feel this regret too! Oh you laying down now huh? Hoe you gon' learn today...all right, all right all rigghhhhttttt!" and we do it anyway, then we have cheek and audacity to act hurt and surprised when the shit don't work out #WomanLogic.

Any time you embark on something intimate with another individual, you are taking a risk. The trick is to try and feel out of it's a risk worth taking, and by now I imagine most of you will know that it's not an easy task. It would be nice if assholes didn't exist but this is not a fairytale, this is real life! Not every frog you kiss will turn into a prince :( a lot of them turn into common peasants instead. The best thing you can do is take it as a lesson learned, hold your head up, take yourself shopping, keep it moving and don't lose faith...or you can be a hoe and not feel anything for none of these men, but I don't recommend it. Aids and social judgement is real! The right person is out there, don't let the bastards have you thinking otherwise. Just wait for the right time with the right one ^_^.

So that's the end of my first lil rant. It's been a while since I've blogged so this one may be a lil rusty (I've gotten too used to shouting awkwardly at the camera lol). Lemme know what you think of this post, and follow me on Twitter @ScottyUnfamous.

Any topics you want me to speak about, or even if you just want some advice, hit up my Formspring (old skool, dun know! F*ck a ask.fm! ...Secretly, I have one I just don't remember the password :/).

The links for all my dope shit *throws up awkward gang sign* and social networks is in the sidebar, so check it out ;)

S x

P.S. Read The Unfamous Books

Book 1: http://bit.ly/Ub3Tvs
Book 2: http://bit.ly/VfUfIR